*Disclaimer - all names have been changed to protect the identities of people who'll probably never read this*
At the time of writing I'm what can categorically be confirmed as 'the late thirties' - that's my age of course, I've not boarded the ghost bus and teleported myself back to the days of the Art Deco era, oh no. It makes me wonder what kind of interests, hobbies and general things I've gleaned from the various blokes I've befriended/dated/stalked*/married** or just simply hung around with and let me tell you, it's quite a lot of stuff over the years.
If memory serves me right I believe that I started dating at about the age of 18, I was a bedroom-bound strange teenager with an aura of awkwardness which has never fully left me, but believe me, as a teen I was at least fifty times worse than I am now. My idea of a fun Saturday was to get a large bag and visit the local branch library and borrow the maximum amount of books on my card; yes, I really was that much of a laugh. Hurrah. Anyway, I did get to date a fellow A-Level student eventually called Darren who shared my love of rubbish quiz show hosts, comedy and the films of Vincent Price. We were once watching one in his room when his mother decided to burst in during the climax of the film and of course, I'm not referring to any kind of other 'climax' - it wasn't like that then and anyway, I was wearing a wrap-around cardigan and I'd defy any man to get through all of those layers of acrylic, I really would.
From this relationship I decided that I didn't like Vic and Bob much, but I began my high regard for the work of Mr Paul Merton, which would later translate into me seeing him live quite a few times, one rather memorably with my friend Rachel at the London Palladium where his cohort, Richard Vranch almost revealed all in a skimpy red bikini. Darren also enjoyed thrash metal music. I don't and never will. End of.
In my amateur dramatics days I met a myriad of men but don't worry reputation fans, I didn't date many of them in the 'biblical' sense anyway. I went out and about with one whom I'll call 'The Beard' and he was a huge fan of BBC Radio 4 comedies and from him I learned all about the delights of panel shows such as I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue and he got us tickets to the recording of the Christmas Show that I really didn't appreciate in those days, so sorry Beardy, I really am. I also watched such comedy classics as The Goodies, Hitch Hiker's Guide to The Galaxy and Brazil with him, but I can't say that sharing the sofa was particularly pleasant, call me a prude, but if I'm not snuggling up to you, there's a good reason why not. You were a lovely bloke, but the spark just wasn't there. Sorry.
Colleagues have also been a rich source of comedy inspiration and I've always been lucky to work in places where witty banter has always been welcome. Some recommendations just didn't work though - one boss absolutely adored The Flight of The Conchords, but I just couldn't get into it.
My husband isn't as much of a comedy fan as I am, but adored Michael Palin and Terry Jones' Ripping Yarns, which he bought on DVD; they were quite good, but not side-splitting in my opinion. He also liked The Rutles, the Eric Idle Beatles spoof thing which I didn't find remotely amusing. That said, we have enjoyed many hours on our respective sofas watching comedy, despite him recording every single documentary on the V+ box and taking the whole series of Elizabeth R away on holiday with him - all 549 minutes of it. Great, he'll be purchasing beige slacks before I know it.....not that there's anything wrong with this at all, no, not at all. Hubby - if you're reading this, it's not meant to be overtly critical of you and of course you're still free to carry out the clandestine activities you've been enjoying in the study since late 2004, I don't mind, honest. The goat won't press charges I'm sure.
Finally, my friend Philip has introduced me to the comedy podcast Answer Me This and I've downloaded a whole load of episodes onto my purple iPod and it's great - just my level of smutty Viz-like sense of humour. Brilliant, thank you and it will undoubtedly brighten up my chores, commute or any other time I plug my headphones in and try and block out the crazy world.
* Never proven: thrown out of court back in 1997
** Technically twice if you count asking the captain of the Woolwich Ferry to marry myself and my boyfriend at the time.
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